Fire Safety and Interior Decorating
This Week: Florid
Monday evening is an odd time for fireworks. I had this thought on Monday evening while I was reading before dinner, quickly followed by, “Oh shit, did I not turn down the stove and I’m scorching my dinner?” I jumped up from my reading spot to go to the kitchen only to find that out the window, the backyard power lines were sparking the length of three or four houses, stopping at the dividing line between our fence and next door neighbors’ fence. The lights in the kitchen all surged and then everything went dark. Unfortunately, there was a small shed fire a few doors down that made people reckon with the fact that they either didn’t know how to use a fire extinguisher, they didn’t have a fire extinguisher, or the fire extinguisher they had was old/broken. After a few Croc-clad (non-sport mode, mistake) sprints between yards, I deputized myself to tell people that if they didn’t have shoes on, they couldn’t help, which you would think I shouldn’t have had to say but I did. The fire was managed before the fire department and police arrived and everyone went home feeling really weird about everything. It’s tough to power down after an adrenaline rush like that. We have this one neighbor who I absolutely adore, she rules so hard and I’m always happy to see her. She was making sure that everyone who lost power on our side of the street had dinner and a glass of wine if we needed it. We were fine to sit in the dark and the dinner I made was still warm enough. After the power came back on early the next day, my dad found that our cable/internet box got fried and melted into a foul smelling clump that took two business days to repair.
Over the summer when Gracie Abrams released a video of her and Taylor Swift putting out a kitchen fire while writing “The Secret of Us” and my first thought was, “Yeah, I don’t know that I know how to use a fire extinguisher.” So, that’s been banging around in my head for a while and certainly underscored by the week’s events. The shoeless neighbor’s daughter said the last inspection date for their extinguisher was shortly after they moved in 18 years ago. We don’t even have one which is being remedied as we speak. It can’t be that hard, right? Just aim, pull the nozzle and extinguish the fire— 1,2,3! Right? I mean, Taylor Swift is nothing but a limitless font of encouragement telling me that I can do whatever I want as long as I try. I, too, can practice good fire safety at home!
This Week’s Vocabulary List
All Fours by Miranda July
Florid: (adjective) ornate, marked by emotional fervor
In context, the narrator discusses communicating with her husband and her tendency to be florid in her emotions which undercut the importance
Emotional fervor is certainly a cornerstone of All Fours since the narrator, while alone, works herself into such a frenzied state that she upends her life in favor of something that serves her more equitably. It’s not just a frenzy, it has an associated color, a lividity that shows heat and life.
I was surprised how much I enjoyed this book with the exception of the adultery. Call me Sister Mary Vocabulary School, but I don’t care for cheating!
Practical Applications
Due to the events of Monday evening, this week’s newsletter has been written in part in several locations including my sister’s office and the library’s new study rooms. Michelle’s office is great mainly because she’s there and I can interrupt her day live and in-person. The library’s new study rooms were far less accommodating to my social-emotional needs as I would have liked. The library is understandably proud of these new rooms as they adhere to the tenets outlined in their new strategic plan but I found them uncomfortable, physically and spiritually. I’m not sure the vibe we were going for is “freshly painted rectangle.” Thanks to the library’s services, I recently finished Miranda July’s florid perimenopausal fantasia, All Fours. In All Fours, the unnamed narrator diverts from a cross country road trip to drop 20 K on a florid guerilla redecoration of a motel complete with snacks, fluffy towels and an explosion of velvet 20 minutes from her home (and to question her role in monogamy). Now, I don’t have a lot to say about my role in monogamy, but I have a lot to say about making a space comfortable** for my tastes.
Without Claire’s assistance (IYKYK), here are my adjustments to the library study rooms:
Windows (3): I know that no one wants any funny business at the library. It’s a library after all! However, the windows are so large and numerous, it feels like I’m being surveilled. Not only can I see people up close and personal in the library, the study room next door is like a Black Swan mirror scene where I can see and feel them moving. This space could definitely benefit these privacy window clings that look like stained glass. I would settle for curtains. These things would cut down on the distractions or at the very least, the creeping sensation of being watched by other denizens of the library.
Desk: Sitting at the desk in the chairs provided, I immediately banged my knees getting seated. The optimal seated desk height is 27 inches. I think even a little higher is better but let’s call it a cool 27. An adjustable height desk would be great but I’d really love this glass coffee table—I love a glass table!
Chairs (2): The chairs are government issue wooden chairs that do not invite sitting for the space of a two hour (or 4 hour if otherwise unoccupied) session. Picture a wooden chair. It’s exactly what you’re picturing. In approximately 15 minutes of sitting, my sciatic nerve was begging for mercy. I expected to see those kneeling chairs that people like so they can sit crisscross applesauce at work. I picked these two chairs to meet my fantasy criteria and to work on opposite sides of the table. They also don’t need to be side by side! They should be tall enough so I don’t have to make a haunted staircase noise when I get up.
Carpet: The library at large is carpeted in an old twenty dollar bill green shade which also does not match my needs. This space needs carpet to absorb sound but also to insulate the space. Wirecutter recommended this one that meets my carpet needs. This will help with catching the intimate details of the Medicare phone call the person next door is making at the top of his voice.
Lighting: As my March 27 Queen .Mariah Carey, said, “I don’t think so honey overhead lighting!” The overhead lighting needs a dimmer switch OR to be replaced with warmer desk lamps that do not count against the two outlets already there. Honestly, anything is better than the searchlights currently in place.
Picture frames: I think I would find it nice to have framed pictures of my family and friends to remind me of my support system to whom I am deeply grateful.
Essential oil diffuser: The room still smells like fresh paint, so it still requires air moving around to dissipate it. While the door is closed, we can use an essential oil diffuser or reed diffuser with something to boost mood and creativity. I love when something smells like grapefruit or lavender.
Prayer Plant: I feel like I’m breathing cleaner air next to a plant like the calla lilies from A Wrinkle in Time. I bought a prayer plant for one of my book club friends as a joke because I mistakenly thought she was a botanist. She is not, nor has she ever been a botanist.
**This is not for sharing in the space, but I will need my desk blanket to be productive. My mom crocheted it for me in grad school and it’s a Y shape so it can be wrapped around you whichever way you need. Again, my mom loves me and made this indispensable item for me and I am not going to share it. I’m just bragging.
Love,
Andrea
Thanks for stopping by Vocabulary School!
A Sharon S original is certainly something to brag about. 😍